Confessions
by dizzy - in - the - izzy
Summary: Now a two shot: "She just wanted a little honesty in all the confusion.' Ziva knew he was jealous, he just hadn't said it yet. Post Aliyah.
1. Bullpen

**Hey. So, I said Seven Months was the only post Aliyah story I was going to add.**

I lied.

**I've decided to write another little oneshot, concerning the need for Tony to just ADMIT he was a little jealous. This is well after Ziva gets back, and you can tell what happened by the beginning.**

It's more angsty than my usual writing, so you are warned. But I couldn't help but write this. It just... came out.

Disclaimer: My mate is coming over today to hang out. Leave me some reviews to answer when I get back on. :)

Spoilers slightly for Aliyah.

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She just wanted him to admit it. She just wanted him to say those words. She knew she was right in knowing he truly was, but she needed him to say it for her brain to believe it. She needed it to be said, so her brain could take it in and understand it.

She just wanted a little honesty in all the confusion.

Her first week back in the states had been hard. She had to heal, and she had to think. She had lots of time, since she spent most of her days at Ducky's playing cards and sleeping. She found sleep didn't come unless someone was in the house though. When McGee visited, she slept well on the couch while he sat on the floor in front her on his laptop. When Gibbs stopped by, she found herself nodding off in the dining room chair, Gibbs sitting across from her playing cards. When she woke up, he was in the kitchen making himself coffee. Anytime Abby visited, she would lay her head in her friends lap. Soon, she would fall asleep to Abby's soft mumblings.

She could say that she truly slept the best when he was there with her. Although, they sometimes just talked. They argued the first time they had some alone time and they ended up sitting at opposite ends of the couch. Then, he had apologized for everything, and ended up saying everything except what she wanted to hear. He left soon after, not getting a response from her. She walked up the stairs into her bedroom and cried herself to sleep.

The hardest part was being back. After many pulled strings, she was an American citizen. She had an American driver's license, and got a new permanent residence. Nevertheless, she couldn't bring herself to leave Ducky's. She didn't want a new apartment, or a new place to live. She was content where she was at, and Ducky was glad to have her. He said the huge house got lonely sometimes.

She was also back at NCIS. After a month of healing, and many stitches and ice packs, she was sitting at her desk again. She was saddened and thrilled at the same time. Thrilled to be back with her true family, the people she could really trust, but saddened at the distance that was still between her partner and herself. She was saddened that their days went without banter, or innuendos, or any kind of flirting. He was keeping his distance, and even after she told him she was sorry, they didn't go back to the way they were. There was something different about their relationship, and she hated to admit it, but it probably wouldn't go back to the way it had been. She found herself partnered with McGee more, and even though she thought of McGee as a brother, she missed her wacky partner. She missed movie references, the constant ego, and the snide remarks about her driving. She missed it, but she would never admit it.

When Gibbs finally put them back in the field together, it was all business. They weren't anything but professional, and everyone around them saw it. Everyone could see the stiffness, and the professionalism that the two usually dropped. They could see the tension in how they stood two feet apart, bodies not facing each other. He would occasionally make a joke, and she would return the gesture with a mocking tone, but that was the extent of them. It was what they had become.

Gibbs was the first to say anything, always the straight shooter. He was the first to mention that his team was a mess. He said it one day when he walked in to silence, to them all sitting at their desks. He put his coffee down, and turned to them.

"You know, I didn't get you back Ziva for no reason." He said, sounding a little angry. She looked up at him, as did the other two men, and they both stared at their boss. He looked at the broken partners, and then at his tech savvy third man. He sighed, picking back up his coffee and exiting the bullpen.

The rest of the day was filled with forced banter, and even though it was forced, they all seemed to enjoy it. Ducky saw it in the way they all stood around the dead body, how they all forced themselves to stand together, not apart at four feet intervals as they usually did. McGee stood in the middle of the partners though, and she didn't look anywhere other than the body. He would occasionally look at her, and it didn't go unnoticed by Gibbs. He saw this, and his frustration with the pair grew.

Two months of not bickering, and tension finally ended with three words from Gibbs.

"Elevator. Go. NOW!" He said to them, and they got up. They walked three feet apart, and when they got into the elevator, Gibbs didn't follow. He let the doors shut, and the pair became unnerved when the elevator stopped suddenly. They didn't look at each other, but rather the metal surrounding them. She felt vulnerable in the elevator, although she didn't know why. Maybe it was because she felt trapped, as if she was not going to get out until she did some trick. She leaned against the wall, sitting down on the ground. He didn't move, but looked up at the camera.

"Funny guys." He muttered, sitting down opposite her. They didn't speak, and the elevator didn't move. The tension-filled silence felt like it went on for hours, when in reality it went on for only a few minutes. Getting exasperated, he finally decided to speak.

"We aren't going to get out of here until we talk." He said shortly, and she nodded. They were both stiff in their movements.

"Then talk." She said, rather coldly. He sighed.

"I already did. I already said everything I needed to say. You are the one who needs to talk now." He retorted, and she glared at him. He seemed to shrink back from her glare.

"Oh, I need to talk? I seem to remember you being the one with any issue about what was going on. I was perfectly fine." She spat.

"Really? It didn't seem like it. Since you ended up being betrayed not only by Micheal, but by your own father. He sent you on a suicide mission, and then didn't even do anything to get you back off that ship. _We_, your NCIS family, had to do that." He suddenly sounded angry beyond words, and she knew it was only a matter of time before he hit something. She glared at him, but she was surprised to see him just glare back.

"And for that, I thank you." She said, slightly mocking him. But it was not in their usual banter; it was meant to be mean. He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall.

"What happened to us?" He asked, suddenly serious and quiet.

"There was never an 'us'." She said, and he laughed.

"Oh, no there was. We were friends, we got along, and we had fun. We supported each other, whether it be with playful mocking or horrible pep talks. Nevertheless, we were there for each other. And now look at us. Sitting on an elevator floor because we cannot talk this out without our boss pushing us together; yeah, exactly how I wanted to spend my day. There was an 'us' at one point, even if it was a friendship that was destroyed with the shot of a gun. Literally." He said the last part with a dry laugh.

"But there was an us. We did have a good relationship, even if there was bickering and sexual innuendos thrown around. That was us, and now…. now we don't even speak." He said the last part quietly, and she knew he meant it. She knew that he was being sincere.

"Maybe there is a reason we don't speak." She said just as softly as he had spoken. He looked at her, his brow furrowed.

"What are you saying?"

"There is too much left unsaid Tony. Too much, and we cannot say it now. It is too late. I'm too late, you're too late." She said, using her hands to reiterate the point. He shook his head.

"It's never too late." He argued, and she sighed heavily.

"Yes, it is. You could have said it! You could have! But no, you had to dance around the subject, and play childish games. You did not even _try_ to say it. You made it too late." She yelled at him.

They stared at each other, and suddenly the elevator jumped back to life. When the doors opened to reveal the bullpen, she got up in a flash, leaving him in the elevator. He got up, moving out behind her, ignoring the looks he got from the people sitting at their desks.

Even they were waiting for this.

"What do you want then? If it is too late?" He yelled, and she stopped. He was still standing next to the door, and she was in the middle of the bullpen, heading to the bathroom. She was fuming. But suddenly, she was dumfounded. She didn't know what she wanted. He saw this, and decided that it was better late than never.

"You were right." He said, and suddenly everyone was quiet. They were listening intently to their favorite drama. Everyone could feel it, the tension rising in the room. It had been building and building since she got back.

"Right about what?" She yelled back at him, crossing her arms across her chest. Gibbs sat back in his chair, waiting for this to unfold. Abby and McGee were standing next to the elevator where they had just walked in. Hearing the commotion, Vance was at the top of the stairs, looking at the play unfold in front of him. Even Ducky was watching from where he sat on Gibbs desk. He had heard of the plan that was being put in place, and decided to come watch.

"You know." He said, his voice dangerously angry. Abby winced as she saw her friend shift, her weight now on her left foot.

"No, I don't. I think I may have forgotten. It's been a long time." She said, her voice dripping with mockery and sarcasm. He growled, scaring some of the interns that were walking off the elevator at the wrong time.

He sighed heavily, and finally threw his hands up.

"I was jealous. Happy now?" He yelled at her, his anger showing in how he held his hands. She smirked at him, but stopped when she saw his face. Everyone in the room held their breath, including Vance.

"No. Like I said, you are too late." She said, turning to walk away. She wasn't prepared for what happened next.

His hand found her upper arm, and she spun her around to face him. The anger in his eyes was dark, and his body trembled slightly. She could feel the anger radiating off him, and for once, she didn't feel safe around him. However, that was not what surprised her. What he did next did.

In front of Vance, Gibbs, Ducky, McGee, Abby, all the other agents, the interns, and even the janitor, he kissed her. He put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her with everything he had. She was surprised at first, and when she did react, she didn't expect her body to do what it did. She move closer to him, and wrapped her arms around his neck, but he was already pulling away.

"It is _never_ too late." He whispered before walking around her and out of the bullpen. She stood there, dumbfounded, her body tingling. She reached up to touch her lips, and then her hair where he had put his hands. She then realized she was being watched, and she looked up. She started to blush, and it became even deeper when someone started to clap. Soon, everyone else joined in, and Ziva found herself wishing she could disappear.

She moved over to her desk, hiding her face with her hair. The applause ended when Tony walked back in.

"Don't you guys have work to do?!" He yelled to the room, and everyone scattered. Gibbs smiled at his senior field agent as he sat back down across from his now embarrassed partner, and sighed.

"Maybe things will go back to normal." He said to the medical examiner. Ducky smiled.

"If they don't you could always put them back in the elevator."

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**Like I said, a little angsty. Although, I think that to get a rainbow, you have to endure a little rain:)**

Reviews?

-Izzy.


	2. Ducky's

**After persuasion by Kerrison, I sat down and decided to write another part to this. I thought it was perfect where I left it, but then I thought about it, and I was like nah. I'm adding another piece to it. If you don't want to review, it's alright with me. I just had to. :D**

**I'm dedicating this to two people: Silent Falling Rain because her birthday was yesterday, and Kerrison because she got me thinking about this enough to write it.**

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She was trying to sleep when he came by. Ducky had long since gone to work, leaving a note for her on the kitchen counter saying there was food in the oven. She got one more day off than everyone else, to which at first she complained, but then after a full week of work, she took her weekend off. She needed time to heal, to recuperate after what happened.

So, she was honestly surprised when he knocked on the front door. She actually thought he would just pick the lock like she taught him, but apparently he wanted to be gentleman like. As she stumbled down the stairs, her hair a mess and her shirt completely off center of her body, not one thought in her brain was on the fact that he might be on the other side of the door.

She expected Gibbs before him.

When she opened the door, they just stared at each other for a second. He looked like he wanted to say something, but his mouth shut quickly. He was looking her up and down, one of the looks he had given her in the past. She was strangely angered and happy to see it return.

"What do you want?" She asked, trying to not sound bitter. Like Ducky said, she had to work things out. It was her turn to talk, and she needed to go at it the right way. Sometimes, she was grateful to have such great friends.

"I just-" He stopped, obviously forgetting. She didn't blame him though. She stepped aside, and he walked inside carefully. He was wary of her personal space, and kept himself more than two feet away from her. She shut the door, yawning and moving through the entry way and into the lounge. She grabbed the blanket that had been declared hers, and sat down on the couch with it. He sat opposite her, on a different couch, his feet flat on the ground. He tried his hardest to look anywhere but her, but eventually his eyes found hers.

"I'm fine, if that is what you are wondering." She said shortly, and he shook his head.

"That was part of it." He said, laughing to himself. She heard the sounds, wondering when he got back the ability. It seemed to have been forever since she had last heard his laugh. And even more so in a light, good hearted way.

"When what?" She asked, sounding bitterer than she felt. She was happy he was here, happy she didn't have to take the first step and ask to talk to him alone. He had presented the perfect opportunity; all she had to do was take it.

"I don't know Ziva." He said, rubbing his face with his hands. She watched him, and decided her voice wasn't going to fail her now.

"Look, I am sorry for what happened." She said in a voice that suggested she was having a hard time thinking it through. He heard this, and kept his mouth shut. He had already said too much.

"And I guess you are right. It really is _never_ too late." She said, trying to work out her next sentence in her head before she said it.

"I also understand what you mean, about the 'us'. I know that we used to be closer, and I should have trusted you. I owe you more than that, but I should have trusted you in your ways. Even if they caused me pain." She saw him wince at the last part, and tried to segway away from that topic.

"I'm sorry for putting you on the spot the other day. That wasn't the right place to get into that kind of stuff, even if we were forced against our will into the elevator by Gibbs." She said, her tone a little light. Tony laughed with her, but it died off when it became uncomfortable. She continued.

"And, I meant what I said. Too much was left unsaid, and it blew up in our faces. Badly." She said, finishing off her monologue. She felt exposed, and she shrunk back into the couch. She pulled the blanket up to her mouth, moving her hands under the blanket and onto her cheeks. She didn't look at him, and their silence was somewhat uncomfortable.

Finally, Tony shifted. It wasn't much, but he moved so he elbows were on his legs and he was leaning forward towards Ziva. She saw this out of the corner of eyes, but didn't move.

"What do we do about us?" He asked, and she shrugged.

"I know how you feel. I am still figuring out how _I_ feel." She was wary of his reaction, watching him as he heard her words. He didn't say anything, and he didn't move. They were quiet, until Ziva couldn't stand it anymore.

"What do you want me to say?" She asked, meeting his gaze. Her voice was impatient, and bitter. Tony shrugged.

"You don't have to say anything." He said, cracking his knuckles. It was a noise that made her move her ears.

"Then what do you want?" She stressed each word, and he sighed.

"I just want a little honesty." He said, and she was a little scared at how alike those words were to her thoughts.

As they sat, the silence the consumed them wasn't as uncomfortable as it had been before.

"What if I said I want to work on getting back to the way we were?" She asked, and he pursed his lips.

"We can't be the way we were, ever again." He said, and she nodded.

"But, no one said we couldn't try." She said, and he smiled. Slowly, he got up off the couch and moved next to her. He sat with a space in between them, and very tentatively he reached over and took her hand in his own. He squeezed it gently, and she smiled at him.

She turned her hand over in his, and entwined their fingers.

--

Ducky watched as his 'family members' sat around his dining room table, food being passed around and conversation light in the air. He smiled at the sight of Jethro sitting at the other head seating of the table. Abby and McGee sat to Ducky's right, arguing over the potatoes. Abby was wearing her hair in braids, not the usual pigtails. They were each wearing casual clothes, and Abby had a purple scarf around her neck.

To Ducky's left, Tony and Ziva sat with their chairs close. They were talking quietly; their heads close as they shared food off each others plates. It had been a year since they decided to try. It started out slow, something that needed to be nursed and coddled. It was a tender flame, which was fed and kept in a guarded pit. As the year went on, the flame seemed to grow stronger. Their friendship was growing, and their trust was building again. Anyone could see their walls were still up, but around each other they seemed to let their guards' down just enough to work.

Ducky smiled as Tony gently fed Ziva some mash potatoes, and she smiled at him. Her hair had finally grown out to be all the same length, and most of her scars were gone. The left side of her face still bearded the redness of the huge swelling that manifested there. The look on Tony's face when Ziva finally said she could touch her face without any sort of pain was priceless, and even Gibbs had smiled.

Everyone's attention was drawn to the pair as Tony gently pushed hair off Ziva's face. She smiled at him, and cut a piece of meat for him. Their gentle demeanor and care they showed was something that made their friends' smile, glad that even after all that happened, they could sit together at a table and feed each other food.

And even Gibbs felt his heart strings tug when Tony leaned in, and gently kissed Ziva. A completely different kiss than the one they had shared in the bullpen over a year ago. That kiss was fueled by an argument, one that had been forced upon them and had fixed nothing.

This kiss was simple, and seemed to 'seal the deal' in a way. Because, finally, the partners were at peace.

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**The ending is as cheezy as a Costco pizza, and that is greasy and gross and.... cheezy. haha. That was cute though, and Costco pizza isn't cute. :) :)(: (:**

**Smiley faces galore. :D :) :] :} :P :) ;) ;] ;D ^__^ Okay, done now. Review if you want to make me happy. I'm running on reviews, candy, popsicles and three hours of sleep that I got yesterday.**

**-Izzzzzzzzzzzzy**


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